guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
