these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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