Its about making memories worth repressing
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
