I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
