going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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