the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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