ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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