I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
