Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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