you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize