What a fucking waste of an outfit
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize