thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize