She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
