Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
