yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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