Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
