P.S. I can't hear my feet
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
