Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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