u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
