Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
