Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
