I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
