margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
