tell your sister to shave her snatch
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
