playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
