I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize