All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
