I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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