I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
