How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize