We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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