there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
