I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
