we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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