just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
