i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Is Oprah even human
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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