you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
