he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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