How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
