I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize