I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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