CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
