does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
