Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
