If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
