I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
