so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
