My nipple is on Facebook.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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