Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
