I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
