I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
