Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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