FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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