her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
