just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
