She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
