I'm pants shitting drunk right now
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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