adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
