Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
