The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
