I hate all girls vehemently.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
