He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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