We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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